im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
