he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
