His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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