why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize