Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I need moral support for this bender
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
