no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
