Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
