I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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