we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
