Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize