Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
