I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
