So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
