mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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