Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
