PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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