So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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