Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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