you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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