I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
