I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize