I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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