DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
