Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
