i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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