I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
