porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
