if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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