He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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