I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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