I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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