Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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