Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
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I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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