yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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