I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
high people should be assigned attendants
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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