I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
