Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
