Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
