At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
