thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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