Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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