just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
