We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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