Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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