all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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