Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
