We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He did a backflip because drugs
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