I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
