K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
