Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
