there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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