I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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