I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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