Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
