omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
