i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
