I wanna passion pit in your ass
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There r osticjed everywhere
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
