oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
