But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize