you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
