Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
