You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Your penis caused this!
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