Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
