There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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