I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
